Nightmare
by triedunture
Summary: Riku dreams. Is the Darkness seeping back into his heart? Angst, unrequited? RxS
1. Chapter 1

This was written for rubyd's beautiful fanart. Then it grew, so more will come.

* * *

The dream begins. It's a distorted memory: he and Sora are racing along the sandy beach, just the two of them, laughing and refusing to stop even when they reach the appointed finish line of a skinny palm tree. They keep running, bare feet slapping on wet sand, and then plunging into the warm seawater. It's a weightless wrestling match that, like more and more of Riku's dreams, becomes something entirely different.

Clothes disappear, and the beach shifts and flickers from view, and Sora is whispering things that aren't possible.

"You're so beautiful, Riku."

Then everything shifts again. The warm water becomes a dark mass, pulling him down, down, down. Riku grabs blindly for Sora's hand, but he touches only the cold Darkness. The eyes that meet his are beady and yellow. He looks around and sees he's surrounded. The tall, windowless skyscrapers of the World that Never Was rise up around him, hemming him in.

"Sora!" he shouts. The Keyblade won't come to his hand. What's happened?

Sharp teeth bite into his leg, and he's down on the ground, crushed under the weight of so many dark shadows. The pain in his leg is exactly where Xenmas injured him, leaving a jagged scar.

He shuts his eyes tight and feels his heart leaving him.

"Sora…" A pained whisper.

With a gasp, Riku sits up in bed. His breath is coming in hot, hurried pants. He feels like he's run a mile. The piles of sheets are soaked in sweat. He puts a shaky hand to his forehead; he's burning up. Without even thinking, he repeats his friend's name softly.

"Riku?" Sora's deep blue eyes are blinking at him in the dim light, leaning over the bed with a concerned crease between his brows. "You fell asleep while I was in the shower. You looked so tired all day, I didn't want to wake you up. Are you feeling okay?"

Riku gulps huge breaths of air, trying to slow his heart rate. He's in Sora's home. He's in Sora's bed. He's safe. There is no more Darkness.

Right?

He looks at Sora, his brown locks still dripping wet from the shower. If the Darkness is gone, Riku thinks, then what is making him think about Sora this way? This violent, unyielding way. It's nonnegotiable. It's terrifying. It screams at him to take the boy as his own, to rip him away from this world, this warm house. To tear him from Kairi's arms.

If that's not Darkness, then what is it?

He wipes the drops of sweat from his face and manages a tight smile. For Sora, he can do this.

"I'm fine," he says.

For Sora, he can keep lying.


	2. Chapter 2

Riku struggled to free himself from the twisted sheets that had wrapped around his frame during his nightmare. Sora put a gentle hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down to the pillows.

"Hey, stay still. You don't look so great," the boy said. Riku glanced over and noticed that Sora still hadn't put on clothes after his shower. All that he wore was a damp towel slung around his narrow hips.

Definitely time to leave.

"It's late," Riku said, gesturing out the bedroom window to the night sky. "I can't believe I fell asleep like that."

"Don't worry about it," Sora said with a grin. "That study session almost put me to sleep, too. When I looked up and saw you snoring into your Chem textbook, I just had to pry it out of your hands and tuck you in. When was the last time you had any decent rest, anyway?"

Ah, so that's how I ended up swaddled in bedclothes, Riku thought idly. He raked a hand through his sweat-soaked silver bangs and sighed. The horrible nightmares were really cutting into his sleep; at this rate, he'd be a walking zombie.

"I should get home," he said, trying once more to crawl feebly out of the bed. Sora blocked him again, this time with both hands on his shoulders. The brunet hissed at the heat of the skin there, exposed by Riku's sleeveless shirt.

"You're on fire," he whispered, holding a palm against Riku's pale forehead. "You're not going anywhere. You have a fever, probably from running on empty like you've been doing lately."

"I'm fine," Riku said, his eyes lingering on the pale sheets. He couldn't stand to look at Sora while he told another lie.

But the other boy didn't seem to even hear him.

"Just sit back and relax," Sora said, bouncing off the bed and hitting the floor on his feet. "I'm going to throw on some pajamas and fix you some good sick food. Now do you want soup, grilled cheese, or ice cream?"

Riku stared at Sora, standing with his hands on his hips in the middle of the dark bedroom. He looked like he was leading an army, not dripping on the floor in a towel.

"How is ice cream good for a fever?" he asked, unable to keep his lips from quirking up in a smile.

Sora rolled his eyes. "It's not for the _fever_, it's for you. Ice cream makes people feel better. Proven fact. Now, what'll it be?"

"Soup," Riku sighed, giving in to Sora's good-natured mothering.

The spiky-haired boy gave him a wide grin. "Good choice. Give me one second, and I'll whip that up." He turned to grab a pair of blue cotton sleeping pants from a pile on the floor. Riku's smile grew; Sora would always be a messy kid, no matter how old he got.

His thoughts were derailed as Sora's towel fell to the carpet. Riku quickly averted his eyes and concentrated on picking at a loose thread on the comforter. Sure, they'd undressed in front of each other since they were younger, but things were different now. It didn't seem right to look.

It didn't seem right to even feel this way.

A bowl of steaming chicken noodle was shoved under his nose suddenly.

"That was fast," he muttered.

Sora shrugged and gestured with the large spoon in his hand. "It's just from a can. Nothing fancy. Here." The boy climbed up onto the bed, careful not to slosh the hot soup. Riku gave an undignified gasp as Sora straddled his chest. Heedless, Sora scooped up a big spoonful with bits of noodle and chicken and held it aloft. "Now make way for the airplane," he said, his face a mask of mock seriousness.

"You can't expect me to sit here and be fed like a baby," Riku grumbled. He gave a weak attempt at pushing his friend off him, but Sora's strong legs covered in blue cotton dug into his ribs, refusing to give any leeway.

"I'll tie you down if that's what it takes." Sora nudged Riku's lips with the spoon. "Now start eating. I have a lot of soup here that you need to get through."

The silver-haired boy hesitated, feeling his face flush slowly. The heavy weight of Sora sitting on top of him was very similar to some parts of his dreams.

Nightmares, he corrected himself mentally. That path led only to pain.

"Do I need to get a funnel?" Sora teased, still waiting with his spoon.

Riku gave a small sigh and opened his mouth a little bit. Sora guided the utensil, warm from the soup, past his lips. He tipped the spoon upwards, letting the soup slide onto Riku's waiting tongue. Then the spoon was slowly pulled away. Riku swallowed and cursed his fair skin; he probably looked like a tomato at this point.

"Now was that so bad?" Sora said with a laugh, already clinking the spoon around the bowl, searching for more noodles in the broth.

Riku felt like he was about to burst into tears. The frustration of having Sora so close, so gentle, was beginning to affect him. He could only hope the boy didn't decide to slide down into his lap, where certain evidence would be waiting to be found. He turned his head to the side on the mound of pillows, his face burning with shame.

"Hey, come on, just try a few more bites," Sora wheedled gently, lifting the spoon once more.

Riku was silent as Sora continued to feed him. His arms were uselessly pinned at his sides by the other boy's legs, so he couldn't even lift a hand to defend himself from the tender onslaught. Once, a drop of broth escaped his lips, but Sora deftly caught it with a flick of the spoon.

"If it weren't for me," he said, his eyes sparkling in the dark, "you'd be trying to crawl home, dehydrated and hungry. You need to take better care of yourself, Riku."

Riku lifted his aqua eyes to gaze at his friend. Sora was fishing around for more chicken bits, but it looked like there was nothing but broth left in the soup bowl.

"All the good parts are gone," he said with a huff. "Why don't you just drink the rest down?"

Without waiting for a response, Sora lifted the rim of the bowl to Riku's slack lips and tilted it so he could drink from it in long gulps. After a few moments, he lifted the dish away, looking critically at the small amount of soup left at the bottom.

"Want to finish it off?" he offered, but Riku just shook his head. Sora shrugged and drank the rest of the broth himself.

"Don't," Riku protested too late. "I don't want you catching what I have."

Sora smacked his lips together in a show of defiance. "Ah, I've probably already caught it from you anyway. No big deal," he said. "Now let's get you ready for bed."

He scrambled off Riku's chest and placed the empty bowl and spoon on the floor beside the bed. Then Sora reached for the zipper on Riku's sleeveless shirt. The silver-haired boy finally found the energy to lift his hand and bat Sora's away.

"It's fine. Leave it," he said quickly.

Sora leveled a tired 'why do I put up with you?' look at the other boy. "It's all sweaty, Riku," he said. "You don't want to sleep in that, do you? Come on." He grabbed the zipper firmly and pulled it down, peeling the garment off Riku's pale shoulders. It was thrown on the floor next to Riku's yellow vest, which had been cast aside during their earlier study session. Then Sora flipped the covers back to reveal Riku's lower half. "Pants too," he sang. "Let's go."

This time Riku beat Sora to the punch, clutching his belt in shaky hands. "I'll do it," he whispered, glad for the dim light. He fumbled with his belt buckle and finally managed to tug his cargo pants down his legs. Now Riku was left in his black boxer shorts. He hastily pulled the sheets back up to cover himself.

"Much better," Sora said with an approving nod. "Now scoot over."

"What?" Riku's voice was embarrassingly squeaky. "Aren't you going to sleep on the couch or something?"

"Why would I?" Sora asked with a frown. "We used to share beds all the time."

"When we were kids!" Riku cried. "We're not kids anymore, Sora." His white-knuckled hands dug into the thick sheets.

Sora blinked and lifted a hand to Riku's forehead. The other boy flinched at the touch, but didn't pull away. Sora stroked locks of silver hair out of his face.

"What do you mean?" Sora whispered. "What's wrong, Riku?"

"Nothing. I just…" Riku sighed and kept his eyes riveted to the white sheets. "It's nothing. You're right; let's get some sleep." He moved over to one side of the bed, backing up against the wall.

I'm just going to have to be strong, Riku thought. I can't let these Dark feelings control me. I have to try, for Sora's sake.

"Okay," Sora said cautiously. Riku felt the mattress dip with the other boy's weight. He slid under the sheets next to Riku, his calloused hand smoothing silver hair from the nape of his damp neck. "I'm here if you need anything," he promised. Sora's hand trailed down his neck, tracing along his spine. Riku fought the shiver that ran through him. "If something's bothering you, I'll listen," Sora continued.

Riku remained quiet, and Sora's sigh blew warmly against his the back of his neck.

"I know we're growing up, Riku," Sora said quietly. "I know we're older now. And if that means…" The hand stopped making circles on Riku's back and dropped to the mattress between them. "If that means you don't want to be friends anymore…"

"What?" Riku flipped over to face Sora, fear radiating from every cell in his body. He grabbed for Sora's hand under the sheets, feeling the rough callous with his fingertips. "What gave you that idea?"

Sora half-buried his face in a fluffy pillow, blowing his breath out in a sigh. "You've been so closed off lately," he said. "I know something's wrong. I'd have to be an idiot not to notice it. But every time I try to bring it up, you shut me out." His eyes glimmered in the dark, a beginning of tears. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked in a small voice.

"Of course not, Sora." Riku pulled the boy closer, wrapping his arms around his thin shoulders. He stamped down the feeling in his gut that screamed for more of that body next to him. Sora was hurting, and it was his fault. "You haven't done anything."

"Then what's going on?" Sora demanded, pushing back from Riku's chest to look up into his aqua eyes.

Riku hesitated. He wouldn't lie, but he couldn't say the whole truth either. "Sometimes, lately," he whispered, bowing his head, "I feel the Darkness trying to worm its way into my heart."

"But that's not possible," Sora cried. "The Darkness is gone. We made sure of that. You're safe. You have nothing to worry about."

"It's _there_, Sora. I know it is," Riku hissed. He was suddenly gripped with the desire to press Sora against his chest again, to feel those puffing breaths across his skin. Riku released his grip on Sora as if burned and curled up on his side. He shut his eyes and wished it away. The pain in his chest was terrible. "It hurts so much," he groaned.

"Tell me," Sora said, brushing the long silver strands from his face. "Tell me how it hurts. Maybe I can help."

Riku gave a bitter laugh, bringing his knees to his chest, forming a tight ball with his body. "You can't help. It's not…something you can do anything about."

Sora frowned. His brows knitted together in thought. "Why not?" He leaned down, placing his cheek on the sheets besides Riku's face. "You don't have to fight this alone, Riku. Our hearts' strength is our friendship, remember?"

Riku let out a shuddering breath. "The Darkness…it makes me want things," he whispered. "Makes me want to do things."

"What things?" Sora asked. "I can't help you if you don't tell me."

Riku dared a glance at Sora's wide blue eyes through the curtain of his silver hair. "Trust me," he said. "You don't want to know."

The brunet boy kept up the staring contest for a long moment, then lunged forward and pinned Riku beneath him on the bed. His victim gasped in surprise, trying to squirm out of his grasp, but Sora was strong. He held Riku still and hovered above his fluttering aqua gaze.

"Does it _look_ like I don't want to know?" Sora said in a fierce hiss. "Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as not trusting me! Now tell me!"

"The Darkness has been telling me to steal your heart!" Riku stopped struggling in Sora's arms and hung there like a rag doll. "It tells me to take you away from Kairi, from your family, and keep you for myself. It…" The boy choked on a breath, tears welling up in his eyes. "It makes me want to do things to you that…don't make me say it, Sora."

The boy above him relaxed his harsh grip, his blue eyes blinking slowly in the dark. Riku refused to meet those blue orbs; he kept his head twisted to the side and tried to ignore the blood pounding through his veins at the feel of Sora's smooth skin on his.

Sora bent his tousled head lower. "Things like this?" he asked, pressing his lips to the hollow of Riku's throat. The pulse there jumped under the hot swipe of a pink tongue. The sound of Sora breathing in that intimate space made Riku's head spin.

"What…?"

"Riku." Sora kissed his throat one final time before dragging his lips up Riku's neck to meet his mouth. He whispered against those parted lips, "You can be so strange." He placed a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth. "That's not the Darkness telling you to do those things." A teasing lick in the same spot. "It's your heart." His hand buried in Riku's silver hair, tilting his head ever so slightly. "And I know because," Sora grinned, "I've felt it too."

"Sora?" Riku opened his eyes, staring at the dream above him.

"No more nightmares," Sora said. He kissed him, and Riku kissed back, fever forgotten.


End file.
